“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” -Nietzsche
(song to listen to: Tomorrow by Miner)
I've felt heavy lately. This world has been a storm lately. Even as I write this, the wind is contorting the trees into a forced dance & rain throws itself to the ground with no regard to the people around. There's a heaviness right now in the world in general. I feel as though, more days than not, I wake up to some new tragedy BBC reluctantly sends to my home screen. The earth feels heavy floating in space lately-- as if we're not floating at all anymore.
My friends & loved ones' lives reflect this. My own life mirrors this. It's the anniversary of one of the most difficult, trying, exhausting times of my life. Jupiter is supposed to be the planet under perpetual attack of storms-- not our planet. We're the pretty green, blue, white swirl floating around out there.
We're facing literal & emotional storms. The other day, I was at the peak of my storm. I was encouraged to be kind to myself & go to the ocean. The ocean always lends me wisdom. I have never felt so connected to something so unlike myself. I tend to walk to the water with a heavy mind & leave with a song stuck in my head.
South Florida has felt the effects of a lot of storms lately. Irma, of course, but we've had multiple tropical storms since then.
I've recently gotten into making jewelry from ocean treasures, so I was mindlessly scanning the drop offs for whatever the ocean decided to spare for spring cleaning. If you go to the shore after a storm, you'll see all the people who know the ocean well. People come out to scan the shores for treasures washed up from the waves.. surfers come ride the left over currents. These are the people who know what comes from the storm.
There are parts of the ocean that would never be seen, known, felt or enjoyed without first having a storm.
As I was walking through the sand, I understood.
This is how we respond.
This is what we get from the storm.
We return to what we had just recently fled to scavenge for beauty.
& in this, the storm is not wasted. The waves were not in vain. The bent trees can sigh a sigh of relief. The rain can be tears of joy finally, hydrating a parched world.
The storms of who we are, where we've been, where we're at, unearth beauty that simply needed the right shovel.
There are jewels buried within us-- sometimes it takes the harsh winds of change, the ruthless rains of pain, the cruel tides of abandonment to uncover the most valuable pieces of ourselves. It's difficult, but it is possible to allow the uproars of life to dust the already existing gold within us-- to wash the beauty of who we are to the shores where others can come along & find treasure.
If you're braving a storm, my friend, you're not alone. You're about to discover deeply kept beauty within yourself. Show up to yourself after the storm.
Come back to yourself-- gracefully, patiently, respectfully, thankfully, fiercely, lightly.
Interact with the left over waves. Wander the drop offs from the tragedy, the sorrow, the disappointment, the walls, the shame, the whatever it may be. There, you may find love, compassion, grace, bravery, kindness, wisdom, vulnerability, courage, sass (yasss, always sass). Sift through yourself & search for what the storm brought forth.
From the storm, we learn ourselves.
From the storm, we love deeper.
From the storm, we can come to have peace with ourselves.
From the storm, we can participate with tonic of being alive.
Commenti