i grew up in the church-- so easter was always a sacred day for me.
ever since i left religion, i've wrestled with where spirituality fits in to my life. honestly, for a few years, i was resigned to the notion that spirituality may just not exist for me outside of the church.
but something would tug at my soul in the moments i was quiet to myself.
maybe a sense of awe or the understanding that i am so, so small in comparison.
my roommate and i were up until 3 am on our porch the other night diving into the depths of ourselves and being honest about our experiences, when all of a sudden she asked the dreaded question that every person who has left religion receives: do you believe in god?
my response was: no, but...
i went on to explain how i feel that inward tug any time i'm in nature or see an act of kindness or a kid playing. that i don't believe in god, but i follow that tugging.
i'm rereading the alchemist, and so much of that book is about this very concept. at one point, the boy in the story is buying candy from a merchant and after, realizes he did so even though they spoke different languages. he's hit with the realization that there is some common "language without words".
the book goes on to say:
"He was learning a lot of new things. Some of them were things he had already experienced, & weren't really new, but that he had never perceived before. & he hadn't perceived them, because he was accustom to them. He realized: If I can learn to understand this language without words, I can understand the world."
what he's describing is the art of noticing. the subtle and life altering art of paying attention.
this is where i found my spirituality-- that every aspect of this earth has some kind of hidden magic, some kind of beauty and wonder. it's there, at every turn, on every street, in every human, in whispers of the wind, in the branches of trees.
if you zoom into one thing and study it, you will be genuinely astonished by it.
George Santayana said: "the world has music for those who listen".
it's not that the world lacks sound, it's that we forget to quiet ourselves and listen.
one of my favorite movie scenes is from august rush. he's standing in a busy street and just listens. he creates the most incredible song-- with traffic & voices & footsteps as his orchestra. it's not that he was the only one capable of creating that-- it's that he was the only one paying attention. he was the only one listening.
there's another awesome quote: "you are the universe experiencing itself".
it's mind blowing because we are, at our most basic foundation, made of the same particles and elements as the world around us. literally made of the same stuff as stars.
once that truth hits you, you can see the wonder of a sunset and say-- we are related. we are literally connected. and there is no possible way your soul cannot sing, being related to the beauty of a sunset.
we are poetry-- you and me. we are made of star stuff. we are made of beauty. and we have the unique opportunity to notice that. to make art from that noticing. to share it and amplify it.
we share a language without words with all things and all people:
the common experience, for reasons we'll probably never know, of simply being.
so sitting on my porch with my roommate and answering her question, i said:
"no, but this... this moment and this experience is god."
happy easter friends, whatever that means for you.
Brie
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